The way it works

Undated - Unnamed 

Here’s the way it works:

Find a pair of slacks you haven’t worn in a while. Get them off the hanger.  Pull out the contents of all

Stefan Lochner, Last Judgment, c. 1435

four pockets, every jot and tittle, and hold them in your hand: a dime, a nickel, and two pennies; two or three – it’s impossible to tell: one is proudly separate; one looks like conjoined twins – nubs of lint; a six-month old receipt from Walmart,* various items totaling $16.47 with tax; a crumb of candy-wrapper foil; an emergency valium tablet. Hold them in an open palm.  Parse them with the index finger of your other hand, as if separating the sheep from the goats – this is serious business. Then, put them back into your pockets. Hang the slacks back on the hanger.

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 * Speaking of hyphens: It was at the end of its second-quarter earnings release in 2009 that Wal-Mart notified all reading it that it was no longer “Wal-Mart” but “Walmart.”