One damn thing leads to another and I no longer exist.

 One damn thing leads to another and I no longer exist.   

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Vacation 8mm: The cameras are rolling.

     We have dispensed with a laugh track – it is unnecessary: people laugh easily at other people’s pains and misfortunes. They weep at our own, but they laugh at others’. The reason they aren’t laughing at themselves, incidentally: no sense of humor.

     And complete lack of objectivity. In this, they resemble the mystics, who cannot be objective, who dare not be objective; for to step out of themselves might be to miss the God Within. In this the mystics resemble narcissists. Narcissists don’t even think about going outside themselves; and it’s not because there’s no need – because everything they need is within – but because everything at all is within. (Anything that might happen to be without is not.)

This is why I haven’t been around and am not sure I am now. A narcissistic acquaintance died some days ago, which meant . . . I no longer existed – none of her acquaintances did.

     So, if there are other holes in your web of relationships, people you can’t find to catch up with, you know why.

07.13.16