Dear Abbe

 Dear Abbé 

Another muddled exchange with Gaspar Stephens, whose much (much!) younger brother, Gautama, has become involved with a woman considerably his senior who must therefore always know better – just ask her – a serious-minded woman at that.

From: Gaspar Stephens [mailto:GS@anonymoronomous.fr]
Sent: in the middle of the night
To: Ted Riich [crabbiolio@gmail.com]
Subject: Advice for the lovelorn’s brother

Dear Abbé,

Is it necessarily true an older woman will know more about living than a younger man?

Curious G

______________________________

From: Ted Riich [crabbiolio@gmail.com]
Sent: the next morning
To: Gaspar Stephens [mailto:thesame@thesame.com]
Subject: Advice

Dear C. G.,

In your part of the world (according to the postmark on your letter): Yes! Superior wisdom belongs to her both by age and gender. But few there (or anywhere) stop to wonder, “Just because she knows more about living, does that mean she knows more about my living?”

I suggest you consider that carefully and practice insouciance.

Abbé

______________________________

From: Gaspar Stephens [mailto:GS@fauxmail.com]
Sent: almost immediately thereafter
To: Ted Riich [crabbiolio@gmail.com]
Subject: Re Advice

Dear Abbé,

Practice insouciance or fake it? Because I don’t see how my friend can practice insouciance without faking. And I don’t think you can fake insouciance.

Still Curious G

______________________________

From: Ted Riich [crabbiolio@gmail.com]
Sent: after stalling a suitable amount of time
To: Gaspar Stephens [mailto:thesame@thesame.com]
Subject: Re Advice

Dear S. C. G.,

I don’t know, when you write about a “friend,” if the friend is real, a fiction, or yourself; but let’s say you are writing about your younger brother. Here is what I would say to him. And this is my mother’s contribution to common sense philosophy:

“You are what you act,” but always pointing toward the future. So, I took her to be saying something more like “You become what you act.” If you pretend gravitas, let’s say, often and convincingly enough, you’ll become a pipe-smoking, chin-stroking academic a**wipe – maybe not all the time, but certainly you’ll discover from pretending to be so much heavier than you are what being solemnly pedantic means. You’ll observe how your pomp acts on others and on yourself. Now this kind of jacka**ery is one thing you can do, at least, if you want to.

Do you see?

Abbé

______________________________

From: Gaspar Stephens [mailto:GS@fauxmail.com]
Sent: a heartbeat later
To: Ted Riich [crabbiolio@gmail.com]
Subject: Re Advice

F*** you, my friend.

______________________________

From: Ted Riich [crabbiolio@gmail.com]
Sent: crossing in cyberspace
To: Gaspar Stephens [mailto:thesame@thesame.com]
Subject: Re Advice

P.S. By insouciance I mean, I should say, not heedlessness but remaining unruffled, displaying a blithe lightheartedness or lighthearted blithery. See the attached Xerox.

*****

 06.16.16