Backlash

 Galilee, Constantinople* 

 From our rector, Susan, the former Miss Virginia, a card in the mail. It begins, oddly, “Dear Ted (unwillingly exasperated),”

I do pluck my eyebrows, but I am also careful that they are not ‘perfectly plucked’ as you write. My appearance is important to me, it always has been. But it is not me. And it has no bearing on our not including your – may I say it? – odd Advent devotional in our this-year’s booklet. The decision wasn't mine alone, in any case. Ted, we do value you and your Uncle Albert even if you are not enrolled members of the parish, but sometimes I wonder how much you value us. Not to say God doesn’t have a sense of humor, but not everything is a joke. Think about that, will you?
                                                                                                     Susan+

The phone rings, the phone rings, and the phone rings. It’s Axel Sundstrøm.

     “Ted.”
     “Yes.”
     “It’s Axel.”
     “I can see that.”
     “I’m interested in why you submitted the devotional you published in your blog. For our Advent booklet, I mean. You aren't a member. You don't come to church.”
     “I thought ... No,” I stopped and started again. “"No, I don’t know.”
     “But you do know – or you know about – the hypostatic union?”
     “Yes. That’s when the LCA and the ALC joined to form the ELCA, right?”
     I could hear him shaking his head, I thought. Then, “I’ll call back,” he said.

     “Ted.”
     “Yes.”
     “It’s Axel.”
     “I can see that. Calling back,” I said.
     “The hypostatic union,” he repeated.
     “Yes.”
     “Two natures in one being.”
     “Yes.”
     “The incarnate Christ is both fully God and fully man.”
     “Yes.”
     “You get that!?”
     “Yes.” Pause. “Sort of.” Pause. “Assuming anyone does.” Another pause. “But let’s say I do. That doesn’t mean that the God, who is revealed in Jesus of Nazareth, right? Let me start again: It should mean that the God revealed in Jesus of Nazareth is not an Almighty Asshole at the end.”
     Silence.
     “That's my point,” I said.
     I could hear him shaking his head again. Then, “I’m going to have to call you back,” he said.

     “Ted.”
     “Yes.”
     “It’s Axel again.”
     “I can see that. Calling back again again,” I said.
     “Yes. Sorry. I’m not sure that we're using the right categories. Let’s start over, okay?”
     “No, please. Let’s not. I am still going to say that at the end of it all, the Judge is going to have to lighten up and be more like the Rabbi, if he, Jesus of Nazareth, really is the revelation. One God, right?”
     “Yes. And I get what you’re saying, but ... ” Pause.
     “Listen,” I said. “I’m going to have to call you back.”

                                                                               12.21.2021
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*To the tune of “Istanbul, Constantinople.”