Bible Friday comes on a Monday.

 Stomp and Circumstance 

from Glorianna Gruntman’s commentary on 2 Kings (in the Incoherent Series, forthcoming from Rantrage Press) —

Because ain’t we who we are? –

V. 1 Naaman, who commanded the army of the king of Syria, was in high favor with him; the king thought he was a “great man,” because God had made him victorious over Israel. A “mighty man of valor,” then, was Naaman, but he was also a leper.

     2 Now on one of their raids, the Syrians had captured and kidnapped a little maid of Israel; she served on Naaman’s wife.   3  One day she said to her, the little maid to Naaman’s wife, “You know, there is a prophet in Samaria that could cure your husband.” 

     4 When Naaman heard that, he went to the king and told him what his wife’s maid had told her.  5 And the king of Syria said, “Then, go there. I’ll send a letter to the king of Israel.” So Naaman went, after gathering together ten talents of silver, six thousand shekels of gold, and ten festal garments to take with him.

      6 And he brought the letter of the king of Syria to the king of Israel, which read, “You know my commander, Naaman. I am sending him to you to have his leprosy cleansed.” 7 But when the king of Israel read the letter, he went on a tear, yelling at anyone that would listen: “Am I God that I can cure a man of leprosy?” On a tear: “This is just another way for the king of Syria to start something with me.” 

     8 Somehow Elisha the prophet heard about all of this, how the king of Israel had gone on a tear. And Elisha sent his own note to the king, suggesting that he was throwing a fit over nothing because wasn’t he (Elisha) a prophet of God? “Send the leper to me,” the note concluded.

     9 So with the king of Israel’s directions, Naaman came with all the pomp and circumstance and circumstance and pomp he had brought with him, and he stopped at the house of Elisha and waited for the prophet to come out. Only the prophet did not come out. 10 He sent his man with a note, “Do this. Go to the Jordan River and wash in it seven times, and you shall be clean.” 

     11 But Naaman yelled at the man, “Is this it? Surely he is coming out, the prophet. Surely he is going to call out to his God, he’s going to wave his hand over me; he’s going to cure me! 12 We have rivers in Damascus, the Abana and Pharpar, better than all the waters of Israel. I could have washed in them.” And Naaman stomped away, and his pomp and his circumstance, his circumstance and his pomp, stomped away with him. 

Notes

v. 1.  leper. Hebrew מְצֹרָע-חַיִל, LXX λελεπρωμένος, being a leper. The Greek can be almost anything as long as it’s on something, so molds and fungus on clothes or athlete’s foot, boils, scabies, psoriasis, eczema, vitiligo on a person. It doesn’t mean Hansen’s disease, which wasn’t known at the time. Moreover, Naaman’s case couldn’t have been a severe one as he has access to the courts of the king of Syria and the king of Israel. So, it’s probably not even leprē but what Herodotus called leukē, the same malady that Miriam is struck with in Numbers 12, whiteness! For a full discussion, see Alphorn (1948).

     11.   Elisha the prophet. םהָאֱלֹהִי-ישׁאִ. So, literally, “man of God”; this is how Elisha thinks of himself. But except for the poor king of Israel, everyone in this story thinks highly of himself.

Commentary

The affable Sw­ēdëistic version of what in it is called, “Fourth Kingdoms” ends the Naaman story with verse 12 as the Miles Gloriosus Naaman goes stomp, stomp, stomping away, livid with rage - as if he could get any whiter. We probably don’t like that ending as instead of extolling God’s healing power (in the version of the story where he washes in the Jordan as Elisha recommends and becomes clean), it reminds us of what snotty-smug shits most of us are. Take in your imagination the role of each of the major characters: Naaman the general that can’t stand the boil on the back of his neck. His king that can’t wait to send a note to the king of Israel that will surely make him tremble. (It does!) Elisha, twice as good as that milksop Elijah - just ask him! (See 2 Kings 2 (especially vv. 23-24. where he proves what a tough guy he is). Only the servants have any humility at all. (We have to include King Joram in this category; he is a servant of the king of Syria as much as “the little maid” is a servant of Naaman’s wife.)

      Other than the servants, then, these are men that float above life; their God forbid they live in it as the rest of us do. (“their God,” because God must be on their side. How could HE not be?) They fly in private jets. They’re whisked from the airport to their suites in cavalcades of black Hummers with black windows. They eat in restaurants closed to cater to their parties. They move and they shake the world.      

      So, let the world shake with their stomping. They have every right to stomp away, like Naaman, whiter than white. If there are conditions on their being cured, they don’t need to be, dammit!

09.30.19

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** Note: Glorianna Gruntman grew up in the Sw­ēdëistic Episcopalian tradition. Her mother was suffragan bishop of the Synod of Oregon. She is the twin sister of Gregorius Gruntman, whose commentary on Judges is also available from Rantrage Press. Links to passages from other Rantrage commentaries may be found here.