In the beginning was the word,

 In the beginning was the word, 

Down Dr. Feight's stairs

When I went to see Dr. Feight yesterday, I took one of Moira’s letters. (About those see here and here.*)

     After Roz and I talked about Nightwood Tuesday night, I tried to write her, Moira, about the book, particularly about the character of Robin Vote. The blurb on the back of the paperback Roz is reading calls the novel “the story of Robin Vote and those she destroys.” Those are Felix and Nora and Jenny Petherbridge, also Guido, her son with Felix. Just as I was going to sleep, I began to remember pieces of the story. “Each of the characters becomes involved with Robin,” I wrote Moira, “and each is destroyed. But why do they become involved with her in the first place? What attracts them to her?” I couldn't see that. “It’s one thing with Guido: children become involved with their parents willy-nilly. But grown men and women - have they no choice when it comes to their lovers?”

     Then I wrote, “I’ll stop here. I’m running out of coffee. Or maybe I’m just running out (period), petering out.” But I go on: “Where does that idiom come from, to ‘peter out’? A woman describing her lover, perhaps? ‘He began well enough, but before we were half-done, he just petered out?’ Forgive me. Maybe that’s not something a man writes to his younger sister. Besides, there’s no need asking you, is there? You don’t have either a library or the internet, and your access to the All-Knowing seems - to me, oddly and surprisingly - limited.”

She wrote back Wednesday afternoon. She looked forward to what I found out about “peter out.” “It’s not, incidentally,” she went on, “that we don’t have access to the All-Knowing, but unless you happen on one of His (very few) interests, He doesn’t really pay attention. I might well ask, for example, where the phrase ‘peter out’ comes from, and even put a gasp of sexual innuendo into my voice. And He will likely respond by asking what I think of the phrase ‘cleverly devised myths’ in II Peter, meaning the New Testament book, and then, when I come up blank, he might suggest that could be something worth thinking about. He’d be glad to exchange views if I formed any.

Dr. Feight's couch

     “And I get the feeling that is true. He would be. He is never - He can never be - too busy for me - or anyone or anything else - because He is not only All-Knowing, He is All-Doing. Still, never being too busy and appearing accessible are two quite different things.

     “So, yes, please, you see what you can find out about the phrase.” She signs the letter, “Love, Moira.”

I read the letter to Dr. Feight. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if he asked to see it, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “It doesn’t have to do with sex, does it?” - meaning the origin of the phrase.

     “No,” I said. “It doesn’t.”

03.22.19

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 * Links to my lengthy history with Dr. Feight may be found here.