Espair and despair

 Espair and despair 

“There is no more reason for despair than there is for hope.”

                                                                                       - Uncle Albert

           

He means that both suggest a future we can in nowise predict. Every time our predictions are borne out is another coincidence, or the result of retroactive wishthinking: “Yes, this is what I thought would happen.” It doesn’t matter that we didn’t think that at all; it is easy to convince ourselves we did, we so desperately wish to be right.

If we could control our feelings, we might realize a state close to Ovid’s in Augustus’ Rome,* merry and bright, frivolity undaunted - not afraid to be foolish because gravity is greatly overrated: Few of our actions have any measurable consequences, and when they do, they (the consequences) are not what we so gravely planned.

Uncle Albert, Orrin Hatch, and P. Ovidius Naso

Bucharest, 1961

Planning is the enemy - and planners. Not only is planning itself work, but most planning is about work to do, which the planners will manage (gritting their teeth, “dammit!”), a series of burdens they will lay on us. “So,” Uncle Albert continues, “fornifreculate Orrin Hatch, whose yoke is not easy, whose burden never gets lighter.”

     “How did you light on Hatch?” I find myself asking.

     “I met him once,” he said. “A friend and I were traveling in eastern Europe. A foggy day in Bucharest town. Typical lawyer - scribe, Pharisee - he couldn't keep his tiny mouth shut. The koine for fornifreculate is e)mpiplana=i, incidentally. I learned that in Sunday School.”

12.02.17

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 * according to Kelsey and Scudder