Friday of the locusts
First thing I woke up this morning, I
checked my phone. In the middle of the night I’d sent myself a text, and I
wanted to make sure I remembered correctly what I’d said: “Do not be anxious
about tomorrow. Accept what Fortune brings; rest in God’s love.”
And “May God forgive you,” I found myself saying to the text, meaning (God forgive) its syncretism, its jab at Divine sovereignty: Fortune with Whim and Absurdity working both lackadaisically and diligently under her direction.
“When there is time,” I thought instead of rolling over and swinging my
feet to the floor, “you need to study the Thrones and the Dominions, the Principalities
and the Powers of the air, who they are – by name, rank, and serial number –
and what each can do.”
My own swarm of hissing wasps, humming hornets, buzzing, biting
deerflies – I could hear them, the air outside the room dense with them even if
invisible since the days of Brueghel and Bosch and x-ray glasses, the
beelzebugs that ride and fill the air, reason enough to stay in bed, though not
even in bed can one escape Fortune herself, who may not be omnipresent but is
ubiquitous; she may not be everywhere always, but she is able and liable to be
anywhere at any time.
There’s nothing for it but get up, swat
your way through the swarm in the hallway, slam the bathroom door against them, brush the
bugs out of your teeth, blow the gnats out of your nose, shower in
insect-repellent, dress for work in beekeeper’s helmet, jumpsuit, gloves, and
boots, and go out there.
Thank God, it’s Friday.
09.30.16